Jokes for Men !!
jokes, laughter, laughs, men vs women, women vs men
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How many men does it take to open a beer ??
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
How do you know when a women is about to say something smart ??
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me ..... "
Why do men die before their wifes ??
They want to.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created women.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were faithful and loving wifes......however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls finished they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst .....my wife came home with no panties! "
Thats nothing "said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck in her butt that read, "From all of us at the Fire Station.......... We'll never forget you !! "
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Nuff Said !!!!
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on 10/29/2008
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11.6
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Jokes for the Ladies !!
jokes, laughs, challenge, men vs women, women vs men
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What is the thinnest book in the world ??
"What men know about women. "
Why did God create a man before a woman ??
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
What do yuo do with a headache ??
You dump him !
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg ??
Because they won't stop to ask for directions.
Why are men like laxatives ??
They can irritate the _____ out of you.
Sorry guys - we will enjoy the last word - well maybe !!
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on 10/29/2008
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10.1
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Diet Excuses !!
excuses, diet, health, laughs, chocolate
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But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
But the doughnut was calling my name.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has NO calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way all the calories have fallen out.
My favorite / Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. And now ( give me all your chocolate and no one will get hurt ) !!!!
Feel free to add any of your favorite excuses !! ??
Thanks !!
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on 10/24/2008
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12.5
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FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPEN AT A GYM & ....
laughs, ideas, imagine
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I'm sure all of us can think of a few funny things they have seen at their gym !! Here is a few I'll never forget !! A young man doing some strenuous bench press exercises lets off a liitle "gas" and the person who laughed the most within a month did the same thing but with a lot more "noise ". Whoa !! A young lady wearing a loose top doing all kinds of gyro exercises with her arms and chest, all of a sudden a breast flops out she screams,runs and we never saw her again. Whoa !! A young lady laying on top of a Bosu ball with a tight leotard, her legs spred apart and her husband or boyfriend see's her and rips into her how indecent she was acting. Whoa !! Another bench press gentleman who can't get the barbell off his chest and laughs more than anyone else around. Another with split shorts doing squats. Whoa !!
Feel free to add some. Could be very entertaining !!!!
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on 6/23/2008
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13
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